By Gena El Aker

Elevators are a necessity in today’s lazy world. Nobody wants to climb five flights of stairs first thing in the morning or any other time of the day for that matter. Heck, even two flights are a bear. But no matter how long you happen to be in an elevator with other human beings, please know there are unwritten rules of society that you need to live by.

If you’re going up only one floor, especially when a lot of people are waiting for the elevator, taking the stairs would save time for everyone. But if you take the elevator, then have some common sense and wait for people to leave the elevator before you go in. Do not, I repeat, do not push through. If you’re carrying a backpack twice your size, do the decent thing and wait until the elevator isn’t full. Nobody likes that person, and everyone will silently hate you for the next 20 seconds.

Although you might think you’re the next Whitney Houston, please don’t sing. Leave that for when you’re in the shower or in the comfort of your sound proof walls at home. It might seem like a good idea to avoid the awkward silence by pretending to be on your phone, but everybody knows that most elevators don’t have phone service and you’ll look like an idiot. Embrace the silence or try listening to you iPod instead.

The elevator ride might be a more agreeable experience if you’re with a friend, but an elevator full of people isn’t the best place to talk about your relationship problems or what you need from the supermarket. Surely those very important conversations can wait a few minutes. In the meantime, if you must speak, then stick to talking about how much work you have or how hot it is outside like normal people.

And how about this? When you hear someone say, “Hold the elevator!” it really means “I already look like a desperate weirdo running towards the elevator so have mercy and wait for me.” Don’t “accidently” press the close door button— that’s worthy of bad karma for the rest of the day.

Proper elevator etiquette could save you from a life of complete isolation and social suicide. Ok, not really, but showing good manners can be a good start to your day. If you’re a hopelessly awkward person by nature, then try the stairs please.